Saturday, 31 October 2015

Spooktober: MONSTER BLOG TOUR

Blog tour time! Monster is the perfect Halloween read, and I'm the lucky blogger who gets to tell you aaaaallll about it on Halloween itself! This is scheduled, because as you're reading this....I'm probably watching Sleepy Hollow/Addams Family/Ghostbusters etc and stuffing my face with Candy Corn and Halloween doughnuts. Because ya know.....Halloween. So, back to Monster....



Look at that cover. Isn't it pretty? And kinda creepy. So. What's Monster about? Well, sixteen year old Nash ends up trapped at her boarding school, Bathory, over Christmas due to her brother's disappearance. But she's not alone, she's joined by some of the school's finest misfits. There's a blizzard raging outside but it's not all cosy Christmas vibes. There are strange goings on in the school. Legends of the Beast of Bathory, a big cat rumoured to roam the moors surrounding the school, are the talk of the school. Then the Matron goes missing. Evidently something much darker is at play here, and they'll have to stick together to survive. 

Sounds cool right? I knew you'd think so!
As part of the blog tour, I've got a post for you guys, from the author herself! I hope you've enjoyed the rest of the tour! Now,  check out the authors Halloween appropriate article....


When I was a kid, all you had to do was play the opening bars of Peter and the Wolf or show me a picture of the Headless Horseman in the Disney book version of ‘The Legend of Ichabod Crane’ and I’d be a jabbering wreck for weeks. But now, as an adult, I know these things cannot hurt me. Bring it on, Wolfie. Get stuffed, ya headless freak. I know you are not real. I know my own strength. I have rational explanations for both of you and you will not destroy me. Mwah ha haaaaaa!
I thought I was indestructible when it comes to fictional fears. I was wrong.
Every now and again, something will pop up on TV or film that I can’t rationalise my fear of. It will lurk behind doors. Try to grab my ankles as I’m diving into bed. Appear in my nightmares, asking me if I know a quick way to the station. Seriously.
I’m passing these scary Marys onto you now. I don’t want them anymore. I want my life back. WARNING: the following article contains images of strange walks, people with sticky-up hair and toy dogs that some readers may find distressing.

Thomas Dolby – my older sister Penny had the 7inch version of this song and if she ever wanted to get me out of her room, all she had to do was ‘get Thomas Dolby out’ and I’d scarper for hours. The cover features Dolby in a wide-eyed pre-Jedward-hair-raiser pose with a violin. The threat of this mother effer living in my sister’s vinyl stack kept me awake pretty much all through my entire childhood.


Luther – Stuff on TV nowadays is pretty samey, wouldn’t you say? No. Luther is not samey. The beasts Luther has to deal with on a weekly basis scare the behemoth out of me. Licky cops. Men hiding under the beds of unsuspecting women. Female psychopaths. This programme makes me want to emigrate to a country where its writers do not live.


Killer Bob from Twin Peaks – Again, I blame my sister Penny for this one. She was a massive Twin Peaks fan and the mere sight of this demonic dude lurking in the corner of some room or at the foot of some bed was enough to weld me to the spot with terror as a kid. Again, thank you for the nightmares, Penny.


The Creeper from Jeepers Creepers – I know it’s not real. I know humans can’t do what the Creeper does. I know he lives far away from me in America and is wearing a lot of make up but HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HE DOING ON THAT SCHOOL BUS? 


The Descent – potholing + white Gollum-like creatures screeching and hiding in shadows underground = CJ Scared. I went to the cinema and saw this movie ALONE. AT NIGHT. I should have got a frickin medal.


Pipes from Ghostwatch – something else my sister made me watch (okay, I wanted to watch) when I was 12. It was a mockumentary which actually seemed very real, all about a family plagued by a spirit called ‘Pipes’ who had the appearance of Uncle Fester. He kept popping up, subliminally, throughout the show. Standing in front of the curtains. Speaking through the daughter. Banging on the ‘pipes.’ Wet the bed for decades over this.


The Exorcist – Freaky walks also scare the bejeezus out of me. She’s doing a crab walk down the stairs for eff’s sake. I mean, a CRAB WALK. DOWN. THE. STAIRS. What is THAT?!


The Silence of the Lambs – repeat after me: I will never ever EVER help a guy get his sofa into the back of a van. I do not care if his arm is broken. I do not care if his back hurts. I do not care if he has an uber cute doggie. Keep. Bloody. Walking.


Pet Sematary – one word: Zelda. Forget the undead animals and spine-tingly music and creepy location. Just: Zelda. #holdme



The Woman in Black – As well as the freaky walk thing, I’m also scared of rocking chairs that move of their own accord. That is just the highest form of ridic and I can’t handle it. I’ve had enough now. Get me out of here. I need my bott-bott and blanky and a cuddle with my mumma.



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